Okay, for the sake of being present in this world and of having a new layout, I'll blog tonight. I'll post a more decent, and hopefully picture loaded entry next time. Maybe then, I'll be able to regain my lost super kinetic energy and the kicking blogging hormones aka whore moans! Lol. Especially since, I want to plaster our faces (friends and I) here in the blogosphere straight from Tagaytay.
Anyway, I've been so burned up by the responsibilities that were thrown on me. Whether it be about school, home, or life. I am consciously aware of all of these, so why keep on bugging me and forcing me to do things I don't want to do? Has there been any freaking upheaval of the machines-pushing-humans-to-go-to-the-friggin-hell? Have I lost the identification of "HUMAN NO. IDK", thus disabling the right to my own life? Or, am I just stupidly missing something in the past few days I've been burning the candle at both ends?
So you see, my Mom's been constantly bringing up the topic of *Imitating Mom's whiny tone* "You should have chosen BS Nursing instead of that chickenshit BS Computer Science? You don't even have a board exam, you know."
Man, of course I know. Of course, I also know that the two courses I chose in UP have no board exams. I know that my future's really hanging by the thread. But, isn't life, itself, is hanging by the thread? Life is full of uncertainties you know. And that's why it's called life. And if you're saying that you were too young to graduate because, you're so smart and all. And that, I might be marooned on UP for the rest of my life. Well, this is what I have to say, have you ever thought of the word "ME" and "YOU"? If you haven't, then think about it. We are different in every way. Yes, in every damnable way.
This piece is what I should have said to my Mom, but, yeah, I was deprived of every word in the world, and I'm still the too good to be true daughter she always knows. I forgot to think, which made me isolate my thoughts to just only me and her.
But, don't get me wrong, I love my Mom and maybe, she just wants to lit the fuse to make me act more rationally. Maybe, she just worries too much about me. She loves me that much that she even bothers to literally risk her life. She expects too much and is, therefore, competitive, and that's what I'm upset about.
I just want to go back in the time where my problems were just about my missing crayons and adding up two geese and two horses. Or maybe, when all I have to think about were my crushes, and being elected as one of the student council.
Why do I have to grow old? I envy my brother for being the younger one.
Why do I have to grow old? I envy my brother for being the younger one.
