This is my 400th post. And my 400th post will be about how I made my grandmother seriously annoyed with a prank caller.
Before the curious incident of the prank calling, let me talk to you about how much I miss my grandmother.
I miss my grandmother like I miss eating champorado.
I miss her like how I miss reading Looking For Alaska.
I miss my lola so much; my missing her could span the whole breadth of the antarctic ocean.
I miss her hot chocolate.
I miss how she talks about the places she's been to.
I miss her... oh so much.
But, I am a raging-hormone-driven teenager filled with so much pride and angst (I declared war with my lola without her knowing anything about it. She did something that really hurt my feelings.), so I do not want to talk to her or visit her or... I just do not want to communicate with her. Period.
Today, I realized this cold, almost frozen war, has finally thawed out.
I MISS MY LOLA BEYOND WORDS. I WANNA SEE HER AND SAY SORRY AND WATCH MOVIES WITH HER AND DRINK HER BIG CUP OF HOT CHOCOLATE AND HUG HER. :'(
But, I am so full of pride. I cannot do anything about my very loved and nurtured and cultivated pride. I am ashamed of myself as of the moment. Please do not judge me, YaAaAAAaaHHHhhh?!
Anyway, I decided to call my grandma. When she finally answered the phone, I did not say anything. I just listened to her say, "Hello? Heeelloooo?! HeLlo? HehLOOWW? HEhHhHlLLLoOOOOooOWW? *getting more and more and more and more desperate as minutes passed*" After a few seconds, she hang up.
I called again. And again. And again. Until....
I gave up.
But I knew in my heart that I wanted to talk to her and tell her that the prank caller wasn't pranking her. That, indeed I have a reason why I was calling.
Without anything in mind, I played nervously with my cell phone.
Until...
EUREKA! I know what to do! I know how to voice out this extreme sensation of longing for my grandma without damaging my very much love and nurtured and cultivated pride.
I called her again, and this time, I was aiming my cell phone's speakers at the the telephone's speaking (?) hole. When she answered (and I could sense she was really really red-hot angry), I played the song "Love of my Life" by Queen using my gun-like phone. I fired away these lyrics on my end of the line:
Love of my life, you hurt me,
You've broken my heart, and now you leave me.
Love of my life can't you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Don't take it away from me,
Because you don't know what it means to me.
Love of my life don't leave me,
You've stolen my love now desert me,
Love of my life can't you see,
Bring it back bring it back,
Don't take it away from me,
Because you don't know what it means to me.
You will remember when this is blown over,
And everythings all by the way,
When I grow older,
I will be there at your side,
To remind you how I still love you
I still love you.
Hurry back hurry back,
Don't take it away from me,
Because you don't know what it means to me.
Love of my life,
Love of my life.
I was thinking she'd end the call right away. But fortunately, she didn't! My lola listened to half of the song. I was the one who hang up when I felt my tears on the verge of streaming down my face. I do not want to cry because like I said, I am a raging-hormone-driven teenager filled with so much pride and angst.
In the end, my very much loved and nurtured and cultivated pride was thrown out of the window, crushed, poured with acid and liquor and gross mayonnaise and yellow pus-looking mustard, and flushed in the toilet until it went to the land of rancid human defecated wastes. Please do not judge me again, YaAaAAAaaaH?! I am not always like this gross-talker.
At the end of the day, my heart became a vessel of wishes that couldn't be granted like:
(1) I wish Lola knew that I was the one calling her.
(2) I wish she knew that I miss her that much.
(3) I wish she knew that, that precise moment was the grandmother-grandchild moment I would treasure forever and ever and ever.
(4) God, I wish she knew me very well.
And lastly, I wish people knew me well.
Okay, Goodnight. Thank you folks.
End of my 400th post.
