I have excused myself from spending three days with my family in Boracay, so I'm currently home alone with piles of reports to write and notes to review. Might drink a cup of milk later to alleviate the intense longing and trembling jealousy (strong word I know). I'm wallowing in pity with Pablo Neruda's Sonnet XI in mind. Not a good way to celebrate Vday right? But I don't celebrate it anyway so why bother. It would have been nicer if my radio's playing, then again this night isn't supposed to be nice. Selfless me is talking about the selfless world (Where are my adjectives?). I've been sleeping through it all. I want to wake up because sleeping through is not so easy after all.
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I heard it zooming past above me, and I thought about you. Your eccentricity that draws me in, your hurtful words that rebuild my strength and weakness, your knowing eyes lashing the entirety of what's left of my pride, your blatant insensitivity and methodical lies. To you, I'm nothing if not useful and profitable. To me, I'm anything but what you think of me. I am braver than that, I wish.
About
- Finella
- hi. i'm finella. i like a lot of things and i think i like to feel. i also enjoy taking long walks, and watching dolphins&other sea creatures, and going to museums, and being with a few people, and eating mexican/indian food. the usual stuff—art, music, books, russia, trains, airports, philosophy, psychology, and literature— intrigue me. i'm an engineering student (MS soon to be PhD) and i don't feel like one. and i think that's okay as long as i stay true to myself. i am very idealistic, but at times, like right now, i don't feel like one because i am an enfp. my only dream is to have a constant happy disposition. that's very idealistic and i'm quite pessimistic so i don't know.