Met up with Monica Isaac and Laura at noon. Watched passersby go and wished of walking this emptiness off. Isaac asked me, “You’ve befriended him so easily? Wow”, which I think was a rhetorical question as it is. It’s easy to hit it off with someone when the feeling is mutual. The effortlessness is like saying “I’m Sorry“ to a friend whose understanding is beyond comprehension: you know that you are forgiven the moment that you’ve said sorry. I answered Isaac, while shyly examining the carpeted floor of the coffee house, “We have the same likes and dislikes. It’s rare and easy you know.”
A fellow student was waiting on the couch adjacent to us, and I thought, “I’m not alone. I’m not the only who waits.” I didn’t need remembering, and I know that the way I know that life is full of responsibilities and is shit and “fuck yeah!” all the same. I don’t need remembering but it sure as hell relieves me, however momentary, of the anxiety and inanity I feel inside.
I finally finished Everything Is Illuminated, and it made me think about the quote, “Blood runs thicker than water.” How much can I do for my family (Typed life instead of family which probably implies that LIFE = FAMILY for me)? Basically, everything. I’m not the best daughter there is, I know. I’m far from perfect or even good. Heck, I’m still not in good terms with my mother these days. But my mother, my father, and my brother are my life however cheesy that sounds. I’m not talking metaphorically here because biologically speaking, this body won’t be mine without my mother and father. Okay it’s true that I can still have this body without my brother, but it’s rude to exclude a member of a group especially when this group is a family. He he.
There are a lot of paragraphs and sentences that I liked. Paragraphs about sadness, family, love, happiness, and even/especially death.
JSF writes sensitively that not an emotion/feeling, however crazy or indistinguishable, can escape his eyes and pen. That, for me, makes his novels poignant and hard-to-forget.
In the meantime, while waiting for JSF’s third novel, I’d like to make my own life to care for people who care for me the most, and love me more than I love myself. Good night.
