walking against the throng of people, glancing sideways while pushing along the dirty pavement, I felt anonymous. just another stranger fiddling aimlessly across the street. ‘I want to know your story’, ‘What is this facade you’re putting up?’, ‘Let me sit with your pain’. it’s strange to think that we are all summarized by how we look, what we wear, how we talk. why do we like to believe in equality when there is none?
I admit I put high expectations on people, people who love me/care for me/inspire me. cliched as it may sound, I am not perfect. the worst critic we’ll ever have is ourselves. the voice in my head counters every positive attribute I give these people. ‘if they really appreciate you, why do they try to hide their feelings?’ I won’t be good enough so long as I continue to put up moats around my heart. they’re not worthy, you’ll soon be forgotten. so who’s worthy for you then?
I place my heart inside the fridge, let it take time to grow molds. –4°C, -33°C, dropping, dropping, colder, colder. who’ll stick with you until the end?
