thursday:
the day before thursday I was already thinking how little the time I had been giving myself for the past few days. found myself constantly duetting with sheila via subject enlistment/academic combing through. I barely felt the weight on my shoulders, which was a good thing. all seemed to be running smoothly well yet I didn’t see the steadfastness in the consciousness of my emotions; there seemed to be something askew/missing. before I went to sleep that night, I prayed to have more time for myself this sem, like what I had before.
for lunch I had the coffee-cake combo in red ribbon. wasn’t really planning to go there but I dislike it when my world jerks to an abrupt halt eg. waiting for friends to have lunch with. countered it by jolting forward into motion to relieve the tension brought by drafting. I found a few people inside the shop, most are middle-aged women/men. thought to myself, ‘now is the good time to write/read the catcher in the rye’, so I rifled through my bag, took out my notebook, and wrote towards oblivion. was buzzed by the tenacious voice of the waitress, ‘thank you for waiting ma’am’, was brought back to reality again.
something I wrote down at the café:
writing, which I love to do, keeps me occupied and sane. it becomes the friend I can count on to when I find myself on my own. words are like the little figures in my head, pirouetting rambunctiously, waiting to be unleashed.
went back to engg with a chocolate coffee crumble that I soon gave to sheila. she said ‘thank you’ and I felt slightly less alone.
ran into rose and audrey on the way to sm, after the post office incident with sheila. went around the mall with them, shared blueberry cheesecake with rose and a pizza with auds, went home inexplicably satisfied and happy. the tiredness accentuated by my droopy eyes was worth every step I took towards the conclusion of this day.
friday:
was already feeling the weight, a ton as estimated, of uni work. having mentioned the word ‘work’, I felt that there was no connection at all to how sprightly I feel every time I wake up in the morning with my tendency to lack spirit in class. I appreciate knowledge and learning I set at my own pace. I cannot fathom stretching my arms wide and opening up my mouth to the point of spewing as they shove empty information in my system. there must be a plausible reason but I can’t think of any atm. the word ‘chasing’ is all I can muster to describe friday. had to photocopy 2 books, had them bound. ran as fast as I could from sc to kamia to give the books back to sheila since laura was already at the lobby. met up with laura, talked some more about mundane topics, and went to sm. it was already 7pm. told myself, ‘now I can relax because the sun had set and it’s friday! friday! and I’m with laura.’ but it would be too hypocritical of me to say that I did not feel the exhaustion that my body has been enduring since yesterday. I find comfort in friends/people I care for and the body does not see it the way the mind does. there is variability in how we think but there is none when it comes to the human bodily functions. at 10 pm, I found my way home.
