i feel terribly disappointed today. feel like i always seem to leave things behind and this forgetfulness and escapism i have acquired for the past years have finally notched up. i force myself to retrace my steps back to where the havoc began and realize that this searching is futile. there is no better contender than the mind.
so this weekend i lost my pen case and eye glasses.
a friend told me, cathy, that it won't be for our betterment if we continue to cling to material things that carry the concept of momentariness. tangible things are nothing but mere illusions of our desires. what could be more real than love or hatred or anger? if we isolate ourselves from the physical world we are left with purity and transcendence, and our happiness lies within these forms.
yet right now i am hurting for the materialistic in me. realized that i can't prevent myself from growing attached to things because these illusions keep my world real.
for now, i am definitely anticipating the applause
About
- Finella
- hi. i'm finella. i like a lot of things and i think i like to feel. i also enjoy taking long walks, and watching dolphins&other sea creatures, and going to museums, and being with a few people, and eating mexican/indian food. the usual stuff—art, music, books, russia, trains, airports, philosophy, psychology, and literature— intrigue me. i'm an engineering student (MS soon to be PhD) and i don't feel like one. and i think that's okay as long as i stay true to myself. i am very idealistic, but at times, like right now, i don't feel like one because i am an enfp. my only dream is to have a constant happy disposition. that's very idealistic and i'm quite pessimistic so i don't know.