christmas eve was a feast celebrated in a seafood restaurant that serves the best breaded shrimp & crab i've ever tasted. how i remember this day is now warped and riled, so i made a 2012 resolution to write down every memory i keep close to my heart. but the crabs that we've eaten stayed good and handsome in my memory, like i still hear myself gasping at the plate of crab euphoria served straight from the pan. remembered: party in my mouth, bam, trippin' and flippin' like we have everything'
still the clock's hands remained still, still breathing for the 25th, and so we've decided to tune it up at blackstump, an aussie bar situated on a hilly slope in kowloon. climbing up was an effort but the weather permitted all forms of work. going down was an easy task, an easy tumble to the heart of the city. but i preferred skidding down as the wind ruffled my hair into a mess. i say, that was a good end to a good night, a little too fast and full of promises
until now i remind myself that we are different, polar opposites, and there's no way i can cross the gap. it is not a matter of acceptance but a little sprint of curiosity that jerks me back to familiarity no sooner than a second, a flutter of eyelashes. she has her own life that is new to me, but we are family so i understand without words exchanged between us. this is a pattern, i told myself, and like patterns we'll soon come around
here in this part of the world everything is attainable. i don't speak in codes because transparency is the maxim. the reality that keeps me grounded is this, money. commercialism killed the cat. curiosity instigated it. i always fall into the trap of spending on material things to satisfy the spirit of inquiry. once the beast is fed, it yearns for food even more. it is a cycle that needs to be stopped, so i have to keep this quote in mind, at bay:
"Curiosity is the most fleeting of pleasures; the moment it is satisfied, it ceases to exist and it always proves very, very expensive"
thank you for that, angela carter~
