some feelings you keep on hiding inside your skin, far from the blatant scrutinies and misconceptions, and they get bottled up, you feel like a piece that needs to be dismantled to just feel okay. your goal, simple: to be okay because the rest is complex--you taught yourself to solve the easiest and step back, retreat, retreat from your worn out thoughts replaying obsessively inside you head. i heard somewhere it's bad for a girl to think, thinking kills. i guess it is. i try to, i learned over the years--the result i lost the desire to write, lost my identity. you tell you've changed, it's oh so easy to say. because words are your weapon when your actions and true feelings fail you. i easily feel dead every time i am reminded that people can't change. i have high hopes you'd do, i trust and believe in you in that sort of way. how can i keep you from not having affections towards her? you see, i'm ready to give you up. i will never fight against her. love is not a competition you always tell me. lemonade, i like that album. beyonce you save me every single day