as i was eating, i think about the no-no what-if situations i might encounter in my life that would really put me in the state of panic and confusion. like sometimes, do you ever think about how you would get by getting lost in a foreign place and you find out that you have no money at all? honestly, i am one of those people who somehow kinda wanna be in that kind of situation like it would be one of my milestones that i would really be proud of (if i survive of course). sitting under the shade of a big ancient tree, i smiled devilishly as i think of what i would do when i find out that i have lost my money, and i have nothing to pay for my pancit canton, fishballs, and buko juice.
here are the proposed solutions i have thought about:
- tell the owner that i need to pee, and run as fast as i could.
- give my iPod or cellphone or my whole bag as a compensation for not paying my very humble meal
- cry. scream like, "my FUCKINGASSKICKINGDAMNWHORESLUTSHITOFTHESHITTEST wallet was stolen!!!!!!". and maybe, just maybe, the owner would pity me and let me pass.
so yeah, you know how confused and totally panicky i am hahahaha. i was smiling/laughing inside, thinking that i would never ever be in that kind of situation because my wallet is as big as the continent of russia.
my wallet resembles that. more manly, and gray, and very rocker type!
but you know the saying "be careful of what you wish for"? yeah,one should really be careful of what he wishes for.
so as i was fumbling through my bag, in search of my ginormous wallet, i realized it wasn't in there. of course, i wasn't still in a complete state of paranoia because i know that it couldn't be possible (what with the anticipation and total cosmic coincidence would never ever happen to someone).
i searched again, reassuring myself that "FINELLA YOU ARE NOT GOING TO LOSE YOUR WALLET! YOU ARE NOT FORGETFUL AND IRRESPONSIBLE! YOU ARE NOT DESTINY'S CHILD!"
but to my horror-iffic surprise, my my FUCKINGASSKICKINGDAMNWHORESLUTSHITOFTHESHITTEST WALLET WAS GONEEEEEEEEEEE! like an avalanche buried my wallet in the snowy grave of wallets!!!!! like my wallet was dead forever!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
i told the owner something like, "HALA ATE, NAWAWALA WALLET KO! BALIKAN KO LANG SA LIB!", then the lady owner said, "SIGE OKAY LANG!". however, i can see one of her workers looking at me with complete distaste and doubt. he must have been thinking that i would never ever pay them and i'd do plastic surgery just so they would never know me.
i run. i almost wanted to scream. my mind was blurred. i couldn't think clearly. i was thinking of my credit card, a-card, g12 enchanted kingdom pic, 9er name tag, laking national card, my chocolate kiss calendar, g-tech ballpen, and my MONEEEEEY! man, i was doomed to die if i lose my wallet. I.CANNOT.AFFORD.TO.LOSE.MY.WALLET. periooooooooood.
so then i hurried inside cal lib, and searched the bag counter for my wallet. the library lady noticed me, and she asked me what i was looking for. i told her that i must have left my wallet there. she asked me what my name was, and that was the point that i felt that the kingdom of god had slowly fell from heaven towards planet earth!!!!!!!! my wallet is safe, as in library-lady safe. i was almost in the brink of hugging the lady. waaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh, my wallet is back again with me!
i went back to the food stall, and thanked them for trusting me. seriously, i said that! i said something like, "thank you for the trust you endowed upon me". lady owner was smiling like this insane lady is so insane and damn forgetful and irresponsible and a total crazy whore.
but no, i'm not. i'm not forgetful and irresponsible. a little insane maybe. hahahahaha.
