It is really bothering me that I dreamed about my exam in ES 13. It fakkin' felt like I was continuously incinerated every time my brain projected all the wrong answers, which happened to be mine, on my dream. The more I want to forget about it, the more will my subconscious musters to make me all the more devastated.
It dawned on me that it is not actually about the question of whether I did good on the exam; it just particularly actuates the existence of my conscience, because I knew that I could have done better if I have studied. So....what did I do instead? I blogged, surfed the net, lurked in facebook, listened to music etc etc., you know the typical culprits. Yes, I know this is not the season for being regretful, or at least, not the time to solidify the mind into becoming a big ball of "MY 2010 REGRETS", but man, this exam is the biggest blow I've had this year.
Sometimes, I like to think that my life doesn't depend on fleeting exams such as this, which is the actual truth really, but man, I get easily devoured by my fears and uncertainties, and shaken by the cold gust of guilt.
