It was a day to remember.
Early morning I camped inside CAL lib, and read Laughable Loves (I’m never going to finish it). The visible emptiness of the room was rewarding and comforting because I was free to let my eyes roam around and boldly observe these people who were indifferent to the outside universe. We were barricaded with shelves of books and it was warmer, closer, happier this way. With a smile on my face, I dove much deeper into the superficiality of love.
Isaac messaged me, “I have no class anymore. Let’s eat out.” I grabbed my bag and headed towards the door. Glad. I knew something would happen. He was wearing a beanie and the weather was balmy. I told him about my ES13 exam, and he told me about his. We continued talking about academics until we reached SM. It’s good to know that “Company also loves misery.”
We then headed to KFC and both had Chililime. My first time to have tried it. Nothing special. Laura met up with us a few minutes later. We watched Black Swan at Trinoma afterwards, and it was hauntingly remarkable! The sounds, the lights, the images… they all blended perfectly well. Natalie Portman surprised me…in a good way. How could she have mastered ballet in just a short time? Why did she look so effortlessly elegant and in control? Where did those facial expressions come from? I admire her versatility and determination; I’m sure she’s a swan in real life. Over-all, I liked the movie. 4/5 stars. I relate to Natalie’s character because I tend to not settle for second bests. I’m a perfectionist, and I easily get crushed when I know that I haven’t done my ultimate best. Like, I could go on for days with regrets and failures drowning my head into shiftlessness. I’m not as free as I seem to be.
Isaac went home after we’ve had our merienda, and Laura and I were left with the silence of the mall and the unending beauty of the afternoon. We sat in the foamy green bench near Lacoste (Lacoste = The Cost E, where E is for expensive HAHAHAHAHAHAHA) and talked about life. About those guys who were long gone and unforgettable, those who keep our hearts beating and leaping, and those who are enough for us in all ways possible. I shared a part of me that has always been kept intact, lived a little (or maybe too much?) for it was right. In return, she breathed to me a new kind of inspiration: to be. “Happiness isn’t remarkable because we have no scars for it. That’s why we feel sadness more intensely.”, I said. “When we’re sad, we can only think about sad thoughts. When we’re angry, we can only think about angry thoughts. We are scarred in different dimensions all together mending into harmony.”, she said. Now I understand, “Happiness can’t exist without sadness and vice versa. Like darkness without light. We exist for the sole reason that the other has to exist. I exist for you, and you exist for me.” And that’s why I cannot be who I am without my pains and sufferings.
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My friend, we’re deeper than we think we are.
