my head was in a whirl as i devise ways to build the projectile launcher in es 12. there's a growing disappointment to have realized that i suck at building things, employing ergonomics, and weaving theoretical concepts in their feasible applications in engineering. to say this out loud, flat out, is disheartening, but i am beginning to accept the realization that the engineering way of life is a rough and tough road that is not paved for me as of yet. it is taking too long for me to test the water, wade in, and wait for it to warm a bit. when the particles have settled and the surface of this body of water becomes clearer, in the middle of thought and awakened hopefulness, i will find myself staring back at the same old face i have come to love and despise.
tonight the wind kept us chilled and warm at the same time. it rustles from faraway lands and murmurs the possibility of the night. greatness was what was expected before we began this project, and we both know that this togetherness makes up for the inadequacies we both had our own share. his passion and intricateness propelled this activity into action, while i served as the vessel of strength and encouragement when unexpected things lurched in our way. i feel the need to capture this night in vivid colors, and frame it inside the mind's bank of limited memories. want to catch it while it's still alive, fresh, and promising, as if we were immortalized in diamond that lasts forever. tomorrow can only bring resentfulness and you know, you'd be dragged back into the horrors of the past.
you slip out of bed at 3 am, and my heart chases after yours. the morning sun dangles in the horizon; it won't be too long until you come back and carry me to bed.
