so they are sleeping, and i am wide awake, waiting for sleep to come softly to me the way the night had gone. i've let the new elements in this room take form and fully engulf me with fondness and immense moments made out of liking and similarity. the laptop i'm using is not mine. the bed where i'm lying is not my own. the sound of the fan's engine, the movie i'm watching, the books strewn along the entirety of the wooden floor. all of these are not inside the boundaries of my own defined room, as if i have labeled my possessions 'mine' the moment i acquired them. yet this moment has developed a deeper sense of feeling within me, and i know that they belong to me like i have always been to them.
it actually feels like the night hasn't started yet
and no, i am not alone
About
- Finella
- hi. i'm finella. i like a lot of things and i think i like to feel. i also enjoy taking long walks, and watching dolphins&other sea creatures, and going to museums, and being with a few people, and eating mexican/indian food. the usual stuff—art, music, books, russia, trains, airports, philosophy, psychology, and literature— intrigue me. i'm an engineering student (MS soon to be PhD) and i don't feel like one. and i think that's okay as long as i stay true to myself. i am very idealistic, but at times, like right now, i don't feel like one because i am an enfp. my only dream is to have a constant happy disposition. that's very idealistic and i'm quite pessimistic so i don't know.