animal sounds

listening to beirut while writing, feeling a bit frustrated/worrying with how things are unfurling in my life, a cocoon of disappointments. 'light a candle's fires' or 'a candle's fire is just a flame' this is the constructed optimism that is so definitive of the current state, a tad bit of irony, all predictive of the future

i write in phrases, reflecting the mind's state, the mind slurring its thoughts like a drunk, i've never tasted wine or blood, they come in twos: good and bad, evil and angel, yin and yang. haven't i told anyone that i regard dots/periods with distaste, what right/what courage to end everything so perfunctorily. like this,
all
going
down
the
hol
e

one morning i said to myself/wrote these words down on my notes book "yes it does come back in waves. everywhere i look i see a ghost of him. the dead stays with the living, and we dwell on"

one look made me remember how beautiful his eyes were, how brilliant his colors. memories fade so easily, washed away by the the everyday current. so sing with me, drown the screaming thoughts, "move along, move along, just to make it through"

through what, i ask.
life? love?

bull of the sheets
cow of the horns

rabbit down the rabbit hole

i end this with a sigh
without a sound
like o
no