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wow. i just can't believe the things i've done this week. i can't believe that i am not going to most of my classes lately. i guess, it rooted from my wanting to not leave school yet and feelings of helplessness when i am in these classes i don't find stimulating at all. i think i kind of regret that i didn't take a language class or a ge i find interesting such as creative writing. gosh. i am so confused. i've been trying to find work in jobstreet and there's this tugging feeling in me that pulls me back to the days when i was really passionate about something. okay, fine... about art. i miss the days when i don't sleep because i am finishing a new layout for my then wordpress blog. i miss how i can easily conjure the next vector art i'd be doing in my head when i am eating, reading, doing nonsensical things. i miss the days when i am exhausted but happy because i know i did a great job for blogskins. i miss blogskins and doing skins for free. i miss my singaporean friends who i've lost contact with. i miss my deviantart account and sarah oliver and sarah of streetcarcircus and all these people i used to admire because of their mad art skills. gosh, i miss the artsy fartsy me. if i could turn back time, i'd go back to 2008 and live in that year forever. people might find that boring, even tragic but i don't care. i miss being happy and carefree, i guess, and life... i think, i just miss feeling alive.