19

on the verge of dying academically read: slowly losing the passion and dream of becoming an environmental engineer because of external factors and self-instigated issues. like what do i really want to do with life? i don't get the satisfaction in what i am currently doing, should i just wait it out, let the particles settle, but what if this disinterest doesn't change? where's the way out? how to get out of this blackhole? that's why i dislike commitments (people and work related) because it's hard for me to accept that i am tied to anyone/something. i know this won't result to anything beneficial/won't help me have a future with someone or with life really but i'm not doing anything to address this issue. i just want to bum for about a year but i know i will just get depressed. why did i go to graduate school? the answer is because i am bored. i am so bored with life. i'm accepting anything death related now. like kill me, this world is just blah, boring